Palm Hamilton Backpackers

Without a doubt, the worst place I’ve ever stayed. I’ve had better nights’ sleep on airport benches. You can hear every single car from the street and every passionate debate happening outside at 3 a.m. Who needs white noise when you have that soundtrack? At one point, a staff member entered our room unannounced to show it to a potential guest (poor soul). They even had a nice little chat inside the room while everyone was sleeping. Not that it made any difference — with those paper-thin walls, privacy is just a myth anyway. Oh, and did I mention the “kitchen” inside the room? Plates with leftover food were scattered around, giving the room a… unique aroma. The front door doesn’t seem to close properly, so if you’re looking for a free night, just show up late — apparently, everyone’s welcome! Some beds had curtains, some didn’t. Honestly, the ones that did were probably better off without them — they didn’t block light, sound, or disappointment. If I tried to list everything that didn’t work, this review would be endless. The bathroom deserves a special mention. I didn’t know it was possible to feel dirtier after taking a shower, but this hostel made it happen. Bravo. And yes, there were cockroaches and mystery creatures everywhere — but to be fair, they were less unsettling than some of the long-term “residents.” I think I met about four actual backpackers; the rest looked like they’d been living there since the building was constructed. And here’s the best part: I had barely finished paying for my stay when the guy at reception smiled and said, “Don’t forget to leave us a review!” I hadn’t even seen the hostel yet. Well… now I have. So here’s your review.

Without a doubt, the worst place I’ve ever stayed. I’ve had better nights’ sleep on airport benches. You can hear every single car from the street and every passionate debate happening outside at 3 a.m. Who needs white noise when you have that soundtrack? At one point, a staff member entered our room unannounced to show it to a potential guest (poor soul). They even had a nice little chat inside the room while everyone was sleeping. Not that it made any difference — with those paper-thin walls, privacy is just a myth anyway. Oh, and did I mention the “kitchen” inside the room? Plates with leftover food were scattered around, giving the room a… unique aroma. The front door doesn’t seem to close properly, so if you’re looking for a free night, just show up late — apparently, everyone’s welcome! Some beds had curtains, some didn’t. Honestly, the ones that did were probably better off without them — they didn’t block light, sound, or disappointment. If I tried to list everything that didn’t work, this review would be endless. The bathroom deserves a special mention. I didn’t know it was possible to feel dirtier after taking a shower, but this hostel made it happen. Bravo. And yes, there were cockroaches and mystery creatures everywhere — but to be fair, they were less unsettling than some of the long-term “residents.” I think I met about four actual backpackers; the rest looked like they’d been living there since the building was constructed. And here’s the best part: I had barely finished paying for my stay when the guy at reception smiled and said, “Don’t forget to leave us a review!” I hadn’t even seen the hostel yet. Well… now I have. So here’s your review.

This is a cheap and nasty place. The “guests” are almost all men who spend the day smoking, vaping and drinking beer - a few metres from the rooms. One complaint is you will be charged more than what you paid online. There is NO city tax in Brisbane but they charge it anyway! Apart from one room, the rooms on the ground floor have no windows and are small and narrow. You are basically sleeping in a cupboard with 2 double bunks. Upstairs has a very small air conditioner that cools one bed only, so the 7 other beds upstairs are hot. Don’t stay in these beds in summer . Also the beds upstairs are in the same room as the kitchen so it’s noisy and smelly. The bathroom downstairs has flying insects and the toilet is gross. The toilet upstairs doesn’t seem to be cleaned regularly. The traffic noise is bad as this place is on a six-lane road. There is a TV but there’s just one sofa in front of it and men sit on it smoking and drinking so you can’t say this place has a lounge area. There’s a grubby “laundry” area but I wouldn’t wash my dog in it. I hung a linen shirt there to dry but I saw the manager take the coathanger and just leave my shirt hanging over the line! Also note the top bunks have ladders made from pieces of roughly cut timber screwed together. There are no grab rails so expect difficulty. My bed had a screw protruding into the bunk area! Needless to say, cheap sheets and worn out towels - beware they are washed on site and not by a proper laundry. I imagine the washing machines are never cleaned. The manager is belligerent and unpleasant. While I was there, he was drunk for 3 days and I found him lying on a bunk without a sheet. If you insist on staying, buy a can of disinfectant to sanitise your area. The “cupboards” in the rooms downstairs are just timber sheets nailed together - not proper lockers and there aren’t enough for everyone. Upstairs, there are only two cupboards with doors that didn’t reach all the way to the top so not secure. People just left their stuff on the floor in the kitchen. One night I could hardly enter the area as cans of beer blocked the passageway. I wouldn’t use the kitchen and the fridge upstairs smelt badly - uncovered food on the shelves . Our room had a woman whose odour was worse than I have ever experienced. Another person in our room screamed at snorers and had such a menacing fight with another in our room, that the rest of us ran outside in pyjamas. Then we were locked out of the room by one of those fighting. The ineffectual manager of course nothing. Neither did the owner. The manager also has no respect for privacy - he enters rooms at random, even late at night, without knocking. They can also move you from room to room without asking. I has several things stolen so be aware. A garden runs alongside the “outdoors” area and some people reported seeing rats but luckily I didn’t see any evidence. The only good thing is there a supermarket across the road, a few takeaway shops nearby - and there’s a car park on a vacant lot next door (charges apply). Public transport is handy but it’s about 25 minutes to the CBD. DO NOT STAY HERE